My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
