Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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