I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
