You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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