i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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