Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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