Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
