I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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