Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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