Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
