It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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