my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i don't like sucking hair
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
