I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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