I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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