...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
