You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
