hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if only i could text you this smell
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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