Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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