mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
