when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
