Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
