How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
