God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
