So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
