my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
