Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
