i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
