i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
