Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize