OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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