Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
