I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
