it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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