3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
