I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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