Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
