Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
