Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
