We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize