This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Randomize
