i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
