You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Holy shit dude........stairs
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
