so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
