that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He passed out mid-signature
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
