me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
