Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
