I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize