I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
