K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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