All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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