He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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