My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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