Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
