apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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