bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
