Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize