We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
