I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I didn't notice because vodka
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
