i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
