he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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