when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
