I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
