Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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