I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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