That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize