I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
