so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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