Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
