Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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