i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
