i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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