and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
