used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize