he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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