i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This is the high leading the old right now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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