we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
