Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize