Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
