IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
