im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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