i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
