Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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