got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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