some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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