The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
