So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
