No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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