Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize