they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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