I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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