Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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